Stupid Hearts...

I kinda feel like I've done everything backwards in my life up to this point. I feel in love with the first boy I ever dated as a Senior in high school. I was seventeen years old and thought my life couldn't get any better. We went off to college together and were engaged by our Sophomore year. I remember being so excited. Looking back now, I don't know what in the world I was thinking. How did I think we were going to make that work? We still had two years of college ahead of us. Where were we going to live? Who was going to pay the bills? These were the questions that should've been rolling around in my head. However, all I remember thinking was how lucky I was. I felt so blessed to have found "the one" at such a young age. I thought I was so lucky to be able to marry my first love. Things changed, I changed, about a year and a half later I broke off the engagement. We remained friends and eventually started dating again. I was happy, but something just wasn't the same. Fast forward a year and here I am. Single.

I know everything happens for a reason. I know he was not "the one" for me. I know all of these things, but that doesn't make what I'm going through right now any easier. Every time I get on Facebook lately it seems another good friend of mine has either gotten engaged, or married. It's like those stupid hearts are mocking me. So and so went from being in a relationship to engaged, or so and so went from being engaged to married. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for them. I feel guilty even saying out loud for the whole world to hear how those little pink hearts make me feel.

What's really bothering me is that it feels like everyone else my age is moving in a different direction from me. I am going backwards. To be honest...it stinks. While I was happily engaged, everyone else was dating, or single. Now that I am single and figuring out life on my own for the very first time, everyone else is getting married. I know it will happen for me. When it does it will be beautiful and perfect. I have to be patient and wait.

Anyone else out there hate those stupid pink hearts?

Sorry for complaining...