Stupid Hearts...

I kinda feel like I've done everything backwards in my life up to this point. I feel in love with the first boy I ever dated as a Senior in high school. I was seventeen years old and thought my life couldn't get any better. We went off to college together and were engaged by our Sophomore year. I remember being so excited. Looking back now, I don't know what in the world I was thinking. How did I think we were going to make that work? We still had two years of college ahead of us. Where were we going to live? Who was going to pay the bills? These were the questions that should've been rolling around in my head. However, all I remember thinking was how lucky I was. I felt so blessed to have found "the one" at such a young age. I thought I was so lucky to be able to marry my first love. Things changed, I changed, about a year and a half later I broke off the engagement. We remained friends and eventually started dating again. I was happy, but something just wasn't the same. Fast forward a year and here I am. Single.

I know everything happens for a reason. I know he was not "the one" for me. I know all of these things, but that doesn't make what I'm going through right now any easier. Every time I get on Facebook lately it seems another good friend of mine has either gotten engaged, or married. It's like those stupid hearts are mocking me. So and so went from being in a relationship to engaged, or so and so went from being engaged to married. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for them. I feel guilty even saying out loud for the whole world to hear how those little pink hearts make me feel.

What's really bothering me is that it feels like everyone else my age is moving in a different direction from me. I am going backwards. To be honest...it stinks. While I was happily engaged, everyone else was dating, or single. Now that I am single and figuring out life on my own for the very first time, everyone else is getting married. I know it will happen for me. When it does it will be beautiful and perfect. I have to be patient and wait.

Anyone else out there hate those stupid pink hearts?

Sorry for complaining...

Honest Post

I try to be as open and honest as possible on my blog. I don't like hiding things that are going on in my life. If you have noticed, I have been a little absent lately. This is greatly due to the fact that I haven't wanted to be honest about my life right now.

About a month and a half ago I ended my relationship with my boyfriend of five years. This was not an easy thing for me to do. Ultimately, I had to follow my heart and do what would make me happy.

I feel like a whole my chapter of my life has opened up. Everyday I add a new page to the chapter and that is exciting to me. I love my job, my sweet fourth graders are the lights of my life. Being a first year teacher is very hard. I am completely wiped by the end of the day and I'm usually in bed by 8:30, 9:00 at the latest. Glamourous I know.

My life has changed so much over the past few months. I feel like a completely different person. I know I am. It has been a hard road, but I know God has a plan for me.

This little verse sits on the window seal behind my desk, the other day I was leaving work in a hurry and I knocked it off. I was so mad because I was in a hurry and I didn't want to sit all of my things down to pick it up. It had been a horrible day and I was not in a great mood. As I reached down to pick it up, I realized what it was. I couldn't help but smile as I placed it back in the window. All I could think was how much my God knew I needed a little encouragement at that moment. Maybe this will encourage you as well.

Until next time...

Becoming a Big Girl

Things in my life are starting to change. My days consist of taking care of fourth graders from 7:30 until 3:00, coming home and filling out job applications, and going for job interviews. You want to know the best part about all of this? I get to wake up the next morning at 5:30 and start the process all over again. The good news is I only have eighteen more days of student teaching. After student teaching is over I will only have to worry about finding a job day after day. I mean that's not a big deal or anything (that was said in my best sarcastic voice).

So far, I have turned in two job applications and have been on two job interviews. I feel like they both went well, but I won't know anything until this summer. Frustrating. I just want to know where my life is headed and what I am going to be doing next year. At this point I don't know where I will be living, working, or what grade I will be teaching. Oh, then there is also the possibility that I won't find a job. They aren't exactly giving them away these days. Stressed out!

At this point there is nothing to do but trust the God is in control. I know He won't put me somewhere I am not supposed to be. I was reminded of this Thursday when I went home for a job interview. When I got back into town, I had an hour to spare before my interview so I stopped by the elementary school where my mama works. I was a ball full of emotions. It is not easy going to interviews. I was stressing about everything under the sun....what will they ask me, what if I don't know how to answer a question, does my hair look okay? I ran into the principal of the elementary school, who also happens to be my previous pre algebra teacher, and was my vice principal when I graduated. He asked me how I was doing and I was very honest with him. I responded, "Well, at the moment Coach I am freaking out a little". He invited me into his office and talked me through it. I hope I can be as encouraging to my future students as he was to me that day. He told me that I may not get my dream job this year, but where ever I end up is where God wants me at that moment. I just have to trust that it will eventually lead me where I want to be. After talking with him I was calm and excited to go to my interview. Thanks Coach!

Today has been filled with lots of typing for me. My fingers are starting to cramp a little. Actually, blogging probably wasn't the best idea. Ha. I have been in front of my computer all day working on finished my 10-day lesson plan. I really wasn't all that productive, even though I did work on it all day, I got distracted a lot. Stupid Blogger and Facebook. If it wasn't for social networks I would get so much more done. I have been basically done with my ten day for about a month now, but I just can't get motivated to finish it. I'm thinking tomorrow is my day to push through it and get it done.

Here's whats coming up on my calendar. I can hardly believe I only have a handful of projects that stand between me and graduation. It's exciting and nerve racking all at the same time.

Wednesday April 13, 2011

-Ten Day Lesson Plan Due

Wednesday April 20, 2011

-Classroom Management Assessment Assignment Due

Friday April 29, 2011

-Electronic Portfolio Due

Friday May 6, 2011

-Exit Conference

-Last Day of Student Teaching :)/:(

Saturday May 14, 2011

-Commencement

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend! I know I am! I big thanks to my sweet Will for redesigning my blog! Love you all!

Countdown and Life Lessons

Only four more days until Spring Break! This student teacher is super excited. The next four days can not go by fast enough.

This week we are giving nine weeks test. Gross. On tops of that, as if it wasn't bad enough, I am finishing up my ten day. Also only four more days left to go on it.

I don't really have anything planned to do durning my week off and that's the beauty of it all. I am so excited to have the opportunity to lounge around all day in my pajamas. WooHoo!

I plan on doing nothing for the first few days, then I think I will try to become productive around Wednesday. ha. I will let you know how all of that works out.

Four more days!!!

Moving on to a totally different topic...

Last Friday three of my students got into trouble for doing something that the had no business doing. I will not talk about what they were doing, let's just say they all knew better.

I had a heart to heart with one of the girls who knew that what she was doing was wrong. She allowed one of her "friends" to pressure her into doing it. I talked with her about how we have to make wise choices about the people we surround ourselves with. We were both in tears by the end of the conversation. This morning she came in a told me , "Ms. Holley, I talked with my mama about what you told me Friday and she said that she agreed with you. I think you are both pretty smart ladies".

It's times like these that reminds what is important. It is important that I teach my kids all of the "school" things they need to know, but I feel it is more important for me to teach my kids life lessons. They may not remember how the respiratory and circulatory systems work together, but the life lessons they learn will stick with them the rest of their lives. I have the best job in the world! I get the wake up everyday and go make a difference in the lives of 40 kids. One word: Awesome!

Housewives vs. Rebels

Tonight I am faced with a tough decision...well not really a major life decision or anything but a choice none the less.

Here is a little secret about myself...I am obsessed with watching The Real Housewives. Okay, go ahead and laugh. My name is Haley and I am addicted to reality television. My favorite is The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Every Thursday night at 9:00 you will find me in front of my television with junk food and a blanket. Willie knows not to bother me for the next hour. Ha. I know it is bad.

Enter my dilemma....

My beloved Rebels are playing our rivals Mississippi State, also known as the school down south. The game starts at 8:00 and I believe that I will be missing The Real Housewives tonight. Good things they will rerun it like 5,000 times...thanks Bravo! As much as I love my Beverly Hills ladies, I love my Rebels way more!

Hotty Toddy! Let's Go Rebs!!

I Was Promised Snow...So Where Is It?

Being from Mississippi, I have only seen snow a few times in my life. I believe I could count the times on one hand. This Christmas I received the greatest gift of all...a WHITE Christmas. To say that I was excited would be an understatement. Below are a few pictures I took of the snow on Christmas morning.

Now to the news at hand. I am one sad girl today because I was promised by the weatherman that by 3:00 today I would have snow. He forecasted five to eight inches of snow, which is an unheard of amount for Mississippi. Well it is now 4:20 and it is raining outside...freezing rain that is. Have you ever tried to play outside in freezing rain? Somehow I don't picture it to be as fun as playing in the snow. Here is a quick picture I took of the "five to eight inches of snow" we have received so far!

My mama has called a few times today to ask me if it is snowing yet. At home they have already received an inch or so. If the bridges weren't already icing over I would make the thirty minuted drive back home. Now for some good news, according to the radar we should get some snow latter on it the day. I will be patiently waiting. Ha. Happy Sunday!

A Little About...ME

I am a senior at The University of Mississippi where I am majoring in Elementary Education. Hotty Toddy! I will be graduating this spring and I am still not sure how I feel about this. Everything thing in my world is beginning to change. Thinking about having a "big girl job" makes my excited and nervous all at the same time. I can’t wait to have my own classroom and begin doing the thing I love...teaching! For as far back as I can remember, I have always known that I wanted to be a teacher. Seeing a child excited about learning is the most wonderful thing in the world. I believe that as a teacher you must teach a child they CAN before someone else teaches them they CAN'T!

I have been blessed with a wonderful family. My Mama is my role model and my confidante. Daddy is my rock and will always be "Daddy's little girl" in his eyes. My little brother Sy is growing into a young man right before my eyes. Although we sometimes get on each other’s nerves, we are each other’s biggest fans.

I have been in love with the same boy for four years. We met for the first time in fifth grade when I only saw him as a nerdy boy who was into Harry Potter. Things changed our senior year of High School when we became friends and then fell in love. Willie is the only man I have ever loved and the only one I would ever want to.

My friends keep me sane when life gets crazy. I can’t imagine my life without them in it. There is never a dull moment when we are together and I sometimes find myself laughing so hard that I cry. I can’t say enough about how wonderful my friends are, each one of them has truly been a blessing to my life.

I am a planner by nature, but I enjoy doing things on a whim. Worrying is one of my faults, but I am working on becoming fearless. I hate making decisions and would rather let someone else choose for me, especially when it comes to deciding where to eat. I wish love were as easy in the real world was as they make it seem in the movies. I have a weakness for Ben & Jerry's ice cream, even on the worst days it makes everything all better.

"But those who trust in the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint"

-Isaiah 40:31